I have a Saturday Night Ramble (TM) while my kids sleep and I desperately try to write: there's something about romantasy that sits so well in a purity culture lens.
It's in kings and queens, scorned princes and princesses wanting a way out. We've read stories of oracles who can't be touched and the rogues that free them from their responsibilities. We've burned alongside enemies who shouldn't bridge the gap and let lips brush. The structure within these worlds lets men be violent for love (in a positive light), and lets women love them for it. I'm painting with a wide brush - there are queer characters and gender reversals within the genre, but more commonly we see heteronormative gender performed.
As an author I have a lot of difficulty writing too adjacent to our current society. 2026 depresses me. Every news story is another reminder that rights are tenuous and securities we thought we had as children of the future can erode faster than our ability to fight for them. We're seeing a high resurgence of fragile, violent masculinity. At the same time we're watching women's rights be ripped away and reset to times before many of us were alive. I can't write within this sphere; it's too close to home. A contemporary romance that touches these topics could be myself or my daughter, the villain my husband or son.
This is where romantasy is freeing.
There are three areas I find most interesting when discussing romantasy and purity culture: setting, gender roles, and power dynamics.
Setting
Romantasies are largely set in "wild" worlds. Power is shown through fists and blades and magic can be an equalizer. There aren't central police forces and if there are, they're usually corrupt. Kings can be wicked, entire nations can be rotting under poor rule, and small pushes can have major impacts. Death is a constant possibility in most romantasies and it forces the main characters to engage with people we'd sidestep in contemporary society. In Canada it's frowned upon to hire an assassin to take care of your ex. In romantasy, it's Tuesday. Dark romance is a notable exception here, shoutout to all the dark and twisty spicy readers and their biker assassin boyfriends.
When we look at setting as it relates to purity culture, we see where women are often, explicitly, treated like property. The sultry priestess belongs to a king. A small village girl needs to be protected from men who would use her. A princess is owned by her father, a trinket for his political advancement. Romantasy lets us play with the unspoken feeling of being female in a (North American) society: to be something consumable. For example: we often hear complaints that a lot of romantasy deals with sexual assault. By contrast, most women in contemporary society have been affected by it. Why wouldn't we tangle with a violence that has become so pervasive? In romantasy women can burn kingdoms for what was done to them. They can rot away the snide faces of their attackers, and can learn to trust a safe man when they see him be gentle in vulnerable moments.
Setting changes everything.
Power Dynamics:
A wild setting ushers in the need for power dynamics: if you're with the strongest person or group, you're safer. Women are forced to make decisions to guarantee their safety - stay with the prince you hate because outside the palace isn't safe. Be the best with poisons, blades, or magic, because failing these protections you're just another girl.
There's something fundamental we need to acknowledge: romantasy lets us (women) imagine fully embracing a gendered role shaped by patriarchal societies. We get to embrace it, play with it, and revel in the moments female characters give in - and overcome - the bonds of this gendered world. We cheer when the FMC wears a scandalous gown for the prince she hates. We love a big, powerful MMC swooping in to (literally) save the day. We want hands on throats and passionate kisses and the absolute taboo of being with a man someone says you. cannot. have.
Within romantasy, the power dynamics we tangle with daily are playthings, and we get to have them in extremes.
Gender
Romantasy loves a typecast: men are saviour or aggressor (or both), and women are navigating worlds where their power is surprising and unexpected. In the real world a large man can overpower a woman and nothing comes of it. In romantasy, she might blast his fucking head off, and I respect that. Morally grey means doing questionsble things for good reasons - especially when espoused by the tortured MMC. In real life? Moral grayness is what brings us to the calamity we're currently watching.
Gender roles in romantasy are often more aggressive than contemporary society; this opens a playspace for feelings we can't engage with in reality. Losing ones virginity in North American society is a mostly ignored right of passage - if not something slightly shamed or kept secret. Within fictional worlds this becomes a huge statement: female characters often choose the man they shouldn't. The rogue, the enemy prince, the assassin sent to kill their would-be husbands. Sex becomes uniquely decisive and is often an empowering act.
I have to give honourable mention to "not like other girls" here, because by the end of most books the FMC is absolutely engaging in all the "girly" things. This is a mirror for society where we're often punished for enjoying these things, and rewarded for trying to be as masculine as possible (but not so masculine as to appeal to the female gaze, of course, that's just bad (/sarcasm)). There's a self-discovery in this trope that many people miss, imo.
When we combine these three areas: Setting, Power Dynamics, and Gender, we really amp up the grasp of purity culture. A touch suddenly means so much more. A rumour can destroy someone, and choosing a partner that we shouldn't is a political act. The priestess above might topple a monarchy by choosing its enemy. A princess can upend decades of political plotting by falling for the wrong prince. The biggest piece? We get to enjoy the story along the way. The more we believe things like touch and sex and passion are "taboo", the more intense they are when presented. A woman who can't touch anyone crosses oceans of distance when she lets her fingers brush her bodyguard's. If kisses are sins, they're more tantalizing when given in the dark.
Thanks for bearing with this rambly exploration of what I'm vibing with tonight. In short, I have a lot of fun writing romantasy and I hope it shows when you read Blood in the Azure. I'd be curious for your thoughts on this blog once the book is released!
SM Gray
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